She saunters into the bar with her chin held eye and a twinkle in her eye. She flops down into a booth with her friends and begins to engage in the idle conversation. The music is delightful, the atmosphere inviting, and sky begins to rain glitter. Dazzling, wonderful, fabulous, loved, accepted, admired, respected, valued, dainty, envied, REVEERED. She tips back her skinny water and laughs delicately as she flips her hair in slow motion. She flips open her phone casually, elated with the satisfaction that can only come from feasting on the confirmation from her friends round her. She scrolls through mindlessly until her eyes flash upon one comment. Suddenly, the room begins to shake. The lights begin to flicker in the bar. Panic sets in, and the room begins spinning. Drinks shatter to the ground and her breath becomes shorter and more frantic. "You're ..." Her friend casts a frantic glance down at the phone and immediately falters back with her hands covering her eyes. "IT'S THE WORD THAT SHOULD NOT BE NAMED!!!!" she exclaims. Everyone in the bar begins flailing and running in frenzied circles. Panic ensues as the walls begin to ooze a grotesque green and the girl could nearly die of shame. She tries throwing her phone at the wall, but that new indestructible case lives up to it's name and she resorts to ramming her stiletto into it's front screen 57 times. But destroying the evidence is not enough. The crazed customers continue to spin around endlessly, holding their hands over their ears when anyone tries to utter the word...that word.....that awful word......
There I said it. FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT....
But really though, how may times do you hear the word "fat" being used as an insult?
Girl #1: "I'm a fat girl."
Girl #2: No, you're not-you're beautiful.
Girl #1 (thoughts): ...Did I say I was ugly though?....
You might not be driving your stiletto heel into your phone screen every time you come across some sort of fat shaming comment or wagging your magic wand at anyone who dares speak the name Voldemort, but the feeling of guilt and shame it instills is the same for a lot of us. But not talking about it only gives it power. He should not be named MUST be named if we want to stop living in constant fear.
So do this quick evaluation here and just see where you're at:
Do you find that sometimes you look a girl you don't like up or are threatened by up and down and say, "well she's pretty but she's fat"?
Do you feel threatened by girls that are thinner than you?
Do you buy all the "skinny" versions of food?
Do you find yourself saying, "You have the body for it. I could never pull that off" ?
Or how about, "Retake that! I look so fat!"
"If I were thinner, I'd be happier"
"No one wants a fat girl"
"Ugh she has such a great body, I hate her"
If you or someone you know has experienced any of these symptoms, you may be suffering from moderate to severe fat phobia.
However, I'm happy to inform you that there is a cure. Results are not immediate but clients consistently say the benefits are absolutely life changing! So stick with me and I'll provide you with a helpful, easy-to-follow, guided treatment plan to help you replace those negative thoughts with positive, rejuvenating, and full-proof ones. ;)
Expand your definition of beauty. Start filling your feed (IG, FB, Pinterest, Twitter, etc.) with different body types and kinds of people! Because we're so conditioned by narrow media representation to hail one type of body as the majority, it's important to incorporate representation of people of all shapes and sizes to remind you that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes! If the media isn't providing enough representation, create your own in your life! If you see something on your feed that makes you feel less like a boss, unsubscribe. Start following accounts like @healthyisthenewskinny, @bodyposipanda, @nourishandeat, @chooselifewarrior, and of course, @bodyloveandbeyond to get started.
Stop using "fat" as an insult. Think of your greatest fear. What if just for a second, you were face to face with it. Suddenly, you realize that it doesn't affect you. It tries to throw a punch but all the fear behind it has dissolved. Now, it has no power over you. Take the power away from weight gain, calories, and obsessive fat phobia by taking the power away from it. When you think to yourself, "I'm fat" or "I wish I was skinnier," as yourself why. So what? What will that give me? Do I really want to be skinnier or do I really just want people to accept me and I think having a "better body" will get me there? So you're fat? You're skinny? You have fat? Join the club. There are like..7 billion of us.
Start challenging your own thoughts. Become consciously aware of what's going on. Who's in charge here? You, or the socially contrived media manipulation making you think that you're not good enough as you are? The next time you start to feel low about your thicker thighs, untoned stomach, or now too skinny skinny jeans, pale skin, hairy arms, and so on, take yourself to a quiet place, journal, reflect, listen to music, immediately do something for yourself to acknowledge that you care about you. Ask yourself if that's really what you believe or are you just feeling upset. Are you tired? Where are these thoughts coming from? I guarantee you that 99.9% of the time negative body image thoughts are triggered by something. Something you saw, something you read, something you feel about yourself-whatever it is, try to understand it. When you begin to notice that a lot of your judgments and fears stem from something somewhat illogical and based on no evidence but your crippling mindset, you'll realize that your body is never the problem, it's how you feel about yourself. That's how a person can feel terrible, disgusting, and unloveable one day, and wake up the next morning feeling compassionate and accepting of themselves. Your body didn't change over night, but your mindset did. When you become aware of where you're thoughts are coming from, you can trace it back to the real issue rather than just projecting it onto your body.
I sincerely hope that as you apply this helpful tips, you'll see a difference and you'll truly broaden your horizons. Let's make this world a better place together, starting with ourselves!
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